XXX

Oh my god. Probably the most funny thing happened!

Picture this:

Me, Jessa, and three teenage gays on our furry couch. We're watching the first season of Queer as Folk on DVD, and some lesbians at a party come on screen. One lesbian is married with baby, the other is single, wild, and saying that she is "PC." That of course means "Performs Cunnilingus."

Jessa and I look at each other, and there's a silence from the couch crowd. Then one of the gays say, "Wait. What? What does PC mean?"

Me and Jessa:"Performs...You know..."

Gays: "No. What? Performs what?"

Me and J:"...Cunnilingus..."

Gays: "What's that?"

Me and J: "Oh my god. You don't know what that is!?!?!?"

Gay 1: "Something about vagina?"

Me and J: "Oh god. This is weird."

Jessa: "Well you know what Fellatio is, right?"

Gay 2: "Yeah..."

[silence]

Gay 3: "Oh! So it's, eating out? Right?"

This only proves that gay boys, no matter how old, are still just boys, and don't know EVERYTHING yet. Not that they need to know about that kind of thing, exactly... Well, it's still funny to me...

Poll time!!!

Some of you may shake your head, thinking how bad you want to be in my position. But I have a serious dilemma on my hands.

Here's the deal. So, you all know I'm going to Wales. Really really exciting. But now, I'm also seriously considering not going home right away. Maybe heading to Germany for a week...Just like Sarah, I'm having some huge wanderlust issues. And since I'm taking German this year, I thought about trying it out.

I think I have the money to go, but I'm afraid that if I do this, I'll kill all my savings (unless my grandparents suddenly die and leave all their money to ME!!!) probably. But I'm really trying to save the majority of my church money.

Bah!!! I want to travel so bad right now. The bug has hit me HARD!!! So I need some rational people to either tell me to wait on Germany, or totally go for it while I still can.

Oh yeah, and it's a little scary, and I will probably never take advantage of this site, but it's pretty cool. Couchsurfing.com

Pissy

My internet is being super slow, I'm hungry, I have a quick recording session with my A Cappella choir that I don't want to go to, I have homework to do, and to top it all off, the sermon at mass this morning was PRO-Life.

Ugh...

So I would just like to say in my most pissiest voice possible:
I hate frequent YouTube vloggers because all they do is make fun of the stupid shit on the internet like "Dick in a Box" and when I want to watch or show someone "Dick in a Box" all I can find is your shitty-ass remake of it.

IT WAS FUNNY THE FIRST TIME! I DON'T NEED TO SEE YOU DO IT TOO. THANK-YOU!!!

For all you wondering

For all you wondering if Middlesex is a good read: Yes it is! I highly recommend it, although I'm not finished with it yet.

I only read it because Dan kept reading bits and pieces out loud. The part about the crocus got me hooked. Jeffrey Eugenides first book, The Virgin Suicides, didn't impress me all that much. It was good, but it wasn't THAT good. You know what I mean? Mainly, it just pissed me off that it's never explained why any of the girls killed themselves. Maybe that was the point, but whatever. I like things spelled out for me. Plain and simple.

But Middlesex is much different. This has history to it. Fascinating history. And it seems like he's done his research well. The book's history spans for three generations, and a lot historically happens. It's so cool. Even if Jeff does look like a stuck up ass in his pictures.

So read it. Love it. Get back to me.

P.S. I would like to address the mysterious person who wrote "prunes" on our apartment grocery list. I want to know who you are so that I can thank you for the hysterical joke, and also ask you if you were the person who left a tiny, glittery pumpkin on our table for Thanksgiving.

P.P.S. My dear readers, none of this is a joke. Some unknown person really did write prunes our grocery list and left a glittery pumpkin. Weird shit always happens to us!

Last night

Last night I had these plans of cleaning up the apartment and then leisurely reading my new book, Middlesex, and going to sleep early.

I did everything except go to bed early. Turns out I couldn't fall asleep till 4 am, and then at 8 woke up to get ready and go sing at church. Bitch! I hate not being able to sleep.

Anyway, while I was cleaning, I came up with this list of questions to ask my apartment if it could talk. Here's the list, and the answers.

Apartment, why does Martin (the landlord) hate us?
Because you're good tenants. If you were bad ones, he'd have leverage to raise the rent on you at the end of your lease.

Doesn't he have that leverage already simply because of where we live?
...Yes. Ok, Martin is just a douche bag because he has to be one. Didn't you listen to This American Life this week?

Oh yeah. Ok, well why is our apartment perpetually messy?
In buildings this old, dirt grows.

Do we have ghosts?
Probably. But I'm really not an expert on the manner. If you're talking about the footsteps that you here while you're taking a shower, that's the previous tenant who never gave his keys back. He likes to visit his old haunts.

Is that supposed to be funny?
Yeah, it was. Guess it didn't work.

You are so retarded, apartment. Will you just please stop shifting around? I'm so tired of the slanted walls and ceiling and floors. Nothing about you is level. That's so not cool. I'll live in you for as long as I can, but once I'm gone, I'm gone forever. Aufwiedersen Baby!
That's what they all say.

God, apartment, you're just as douchey as Martin. I don't think I want to talk to you anymore.

Dr. P

As some of you may know, my choir director last year went to Georgia last year, on a Fulbright.

This quarter, we are singing mostly Georgian folk music, which is super great because we get to sing as loud as we want.
But mainly my point of the story is that Dr. P normally gives us bites of wisdom about Georgian culture, and how cool and quirky the people are.
Today, we learned about Georgian dance. Dr. P tried very hard to demonstrate both traditional male and female dance. Personally, I thought he did a fine job, especially after spending 5 seconds on YouTube and saw this video!!!



Dr. P described these dances to the T!!! Including the creepy ladies with long dresses and wavy arms. Oh yeah, and men, don't forget to chuck your daggers by your side.

Goddamn Dr. P is so cool!!!

Resolutions...

Dan and I made a New Year's resolution that we weren't going to eat out this month...I haven't been doing so well at it. So far, I've been to two restaurants, and the student center a couple of times...At first I wasn't counting student center food as "going out," but considering I've only eaten shit when I was there, I think it does now.

I haven't done much work this week, which is bad, because I have a lot of practicing to do. This whole singing thing is becoming a drag. Since I didn't practice tonight or Monday, I'll at least clean up my room right after I'm done typing this blog entry, and then practice in the morning, like I should do every day. Yeah.

As a side note, I would just like to add that I love it when people reference NPR. It is the one, true radio station. Anyone who listens to NPR is smart. I am one of these people. I am smart because I listen to NPR.

Not that you care

I did some tidying with my template. Thought about changing it, but as much as I wish I was, I'm just not talented in that area. Besides, all the templates on blogskins.com are far too...original for me to pass off as my own.

I took away some band sites, and I added a few. I also added some of the websites that I've been frequenting. I'm in a German groove, if you can't tell.

PS. I have a new German teacher this quarter and he is a CUTIE!!! This could be a difficult class to get through with him around all the time. But who knows, maybe he'll be a complete jack-ass and I'll hate his guts. He did do the typical DePaul professor line, "I got my PH.d at Northwestern University...blah blah blah." But he lived and studied in Berlin for five years, and his voice just sounds so warm and friendly. He could definitely be a day-time TV star.

Wish I had this weekend off, but I don't. DePaul Acappella Choir has me working my but off tomorrow, and Sunday is church day. [General Grumbling]

Speaking of DAC...did I mention that we're going to Wales this summer? I am so excited! We're competing in some international chorus competition/festival. It's going to eat a big portion of my savings, but oh will it be fun. I seriously think I'm going to have a hard time coming back to the States.

There will be much more posting about Wales. I have a feeling that from now on, the choir is just going to sleep, eat, and breath for the competition. Wales. Wales. Wales. We will win at Wales...

Just Kiddin...

Hahahahahahahahahaha.

I went to the hospital today. Took an ambulance and everything.

This morning, I thought I was having an asthma attack because my throat got all tight and I felt like I couldn't breath. The paramedics thought I was having an allergic reaction or a panic attack, but I wasn't. Although, I suppose I could have been since I didn't really want to go back to school...But that's not why I couldn't breath, I swear! Anyway, my lungs were fine and so was my blood-oxygen level saturation...thing.

I learned a new term today. When someone is "tacky," it doesn't just mean that they're wearing a bad shirt, it means their heart is beating fast. So when they took my pulse, I was tacky. Cool huh?

Anyway, it wasn't an asthma attack. I just have a throat infection. Got my antibiotics plus steroids. And I am A-OK. So stop worrying about me, please.

Oh yeah, and my doctors name was Dr. Frederic Fishman. I thought it was funny.

So, now I really have to go back to school. Yuck!

Liebe auf den ersten Blick

I have a new love in my life. His name is Ubel Knubel.

Watch him, and you'll love him too.

Update

Christmas was fun.

New Year's was hilarious.

I gave my boyfriend whatever viral infection I had that left me with no voice for five days, and now I have it back again.

Watch out for this stuff. It is killer!

Oh yeah, I start school tomorrow, too. BOO!!!!

Clean.

I used to hate my dad because about once every two months, he'd go ballistic and clean the entire house, including our bedrooms. Dad cleaning your bedroom is not a good thing because it means you're stuck with him in your room for 45 minutes while he's vacuuming and you're dusting and he's usually mad about some stupid shit, but won't speak to you, or anyone for that matter, and then when he leaves, the room smells like windex and you can finally breathe again.

But now that I have my own place, I find myself doing the EXACT SAME THING!!!

I've been meaning to clean the apartment for a week now, but didn't get around to it until today. It pretty much looks immaculate around here...except for my bedroom. For some reason, cleaning up my 11 x 10 room is like pulling teeth. And all I really have to do is put my clothes away or in the laundry basket. Yet, I still wait for the very last minute to do anything about it. I have to make sure I have a movie to watch (tonight it will actually be the Sopranos 5th season, disc 3 and 4). Really, it should only take me 3o minutes tops to put everything away and straighten it up, but because I have to watch a movie while doing this, it will probably take me 2 hours.

Yeah. I know I'm weird.

And I still have no voice. I'm getting a little nervous.

Craaap...

You know what the worst feeling in the world is for a singer? Losing her VOICE!

I get this about twice a year. First it starts in the nose and throat. Gotta love that post-nasal drip. Then it settles in the throat for a few days (which is its current state), after that, it turns into a lovely chest cough. At least then I can talk and sing. It's really funny to hear me squeak like a 6th grade clarinet player.

This...thing has its perks. I get the right to just chill out and watch the 5th season of the Sopranos.

It doesn't help that I have to sing everyday this week. But I'm raking in the dough!!! Yesterday I had to sing at 2 masses ($195 total), a rehearsal this evening ($30), practice with a church in the burbs (gratis) tomorrow, Wednesday another church rehearsal ($30), Thursday is a performance in the burbs, Friday and Saturday I have off, but Sunday is marathon singing day because it's Christmas Eve. Not sure how much I'll make off of that puppy, but it will at least be $140.

Everything I once said about Catholics I take back. They pay me well, and for that, I thank God.

BURRRP!!!!

I'm not sober right now. It feels nice. Break has been nice. Very few responsibilities, lots of sitting around with Dan, Alex, or Jessa, eating whenever and whatever I want, catching up on a lot of Maury episodes.

And that's all I really wanted to say...

Underachievers please try harder

Vote for Raymi. Wooo!

Raymi doesn't really know who I am. I'm very ok with that. She's a very busy lady, and doesn't need to be bothered by pathetic adoring fans like me. I think she's seen this site once because I stole her Scissor Sisters music video idea and she caught me.

But since she wants her readers to publicize her like no other, I thought I would step up and show my support which has been silent until now.

This is why I think Raymi is too cool for school and why you should vote for her for best diarist.

1. She shows her boobs, and I think that's really cool in a very non-lesbian way. If I had the balls to show off my tits on the internet, I totally would. And I don't think she shows them off to get more hits. She has it, so she shows it. It's fun for everyone.
   
2. Raymi posts several times a day. When I'm bored, I know that Raymi will be there for me with an update. And it will be funny. Even if there's not an update, her side bar has so much shit to click on, it will easily distract you for the hour that it will take for her to write another post.
   
3. I think she's way cooler than Bunny
4. She's Canadian.
   
5. I live vicariously through her. She's the bad ass that I'll never be, but oh so wish that I could.
   

So just click on the link and vote for her. It will make us all happy.

In closing, I would like to dedicate the first verse lyrics to a Camera Obscura song, "Suspended from Class."

You’re such a beautiful writer

that’s not all you are
I’m sorry about making a pass
It was subtle but I think that you grasped
The meaning intended
I can be a friend to you
I won’t pretend
I’m not interested in breaking a heart
It’s not love no it’s nothing like that
I’ll leave that to lookers like him
Oh he’s such a delicate thing
Now it’s such a fragile thing that we have

And the mealy worms in the pyre will burn

I've been burning things lately. Not food. Objects. Nothing living. It's not like I throw Vish in there. (He's the turtle we're babysitting and will probably never return.) I watch these things go up in flames. Some things I that incinerated I thought would make me feel sad. But it didn't. I felt so detached from them. But now that I've started, I can't stop the burning. There are a few things left, but if I did burn, I'd probably burn in hell or some shit like that.

Went to Arizona last weekend with my sister. That was fun, but Sister Golden Hair missed the first snow day in five years. We were both a little sad. Weather in AZ is always nice, though. My cousin bought a Nintendo Wii system that he let us play for five minutes. Fortunately, neither of us threw the controller at the TV set. Saw all the relatives that I've managed to avoid for the past two years plus. But all of this was ok, because it was just me and my sister. We didn't have to share a bed or spend countless hours with relatives we don't particularly care for. It's all about moderation.

I'm on break now. YAY! But I have all these singing jobs here in Chicago. Woe is me! Actually, it's very nice to have these little jobs, not only for the holiday cash, but it's an awesome excuse not to go home to the suburbs, which my parents still expect me to do. I know Christmas isn't very far away, and I'll spend lots of time with them then, but it's the second week of December. I want to have a little fun. And it has been fun...For me and Dan...Haven't seen too much of my roommates though. That's my fault. The other night, I missed probably one of the funniest moments of this apartment. I wasn't there, so I really shouldn't tell the story, but I suggest you ask Alex about this guy named Dominic and his sleeping habits.

I kept telling myself I was going to go Christmas shopping today. That didn't work out so well. Maybe I'll join the shopping online phenomenon. It's just too cold to go outside today, and I was out and about all day yesterday buying shit for Dan. He is now the proud owner of a $100 pair of shoes. In our defense, they look bad-ass, or at least I think so. I told him that he has to wear the shoes every time he's around me, like the nasty sweater your grandma knits for you for Christmas and you have to wear at least once around her and probably immortalize the ugliness in some embarrassing family photo too.

I think that's all for now. It's dark in my apartment, and I'm all alone. Dan's at work and my roommates are MIA. I should take a shower and do something with my wasted day.

TODAY IS A GOOD DAY FOR DEMOCRATS!!!

These are the words that I woke up to this morning. And I gotta tell you, it is a good day. I haven't been excited about politics in a long time. Nanci Pelosi is everywhere, and I cannot tell you who excited I am to have her as the new Speaker of the House. As my mom said this afternoon: From a selfish point of view, with Denny out of the job, we won't see the money to my home town like we used to. But with Nanci in the house, God, I hope she kicks some serious ass. Doesn't it look like she could beat you up with just the touch of her wagging finger.
Oh yeah, and it's just really cool to have a women third in line. Eat THAT Condi!!!
PLUS!!! Say goodbye to Rummy Rumsfeld. THANK GOD! Who knows if the next guy will be any better, but the times are finally changing. No more stagnant waters.
And I'm not just excited about the Dems taking the House. This is about the people making a change. We will not take this radical, partisan bullshit. We will not let old men who make laws for their own benefit and steal money that's not theirs, and keep creepy pedophiles around.
PS. Tammy Duckworth should have won.

In other news...


YOU SUCK CTA!!! YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY WORTHLESS ON THE WEEKENDS!!! AND THE WORST PART IS, YOU DON'T EVEN CARE HOW MUCH YOU SUCK! I WANT TO GO TWO MILES NORTHWEST ON A SUNDAY MORNING SO THAT I CAN SING AT CHURCH, BUT NO! YOUR BROWN LINE HAS TO HAVE 1/2 HOUR SPAN IN BETWEEN TRAINS. OR WHAT ABOUT THE TIME I WAS TRYING TO GO TO DAN'S PLACE AT AROUND MIDNIGHT, AND I WAITED FOR AN HOUR!!!! FOR A REDLINE HEADING SOUTH TO THE LOOP. BOB SAGGOT!!!
Get your act together, CTA. It's pathetic. You're worthless than the dirt on a drunk bum on a red line heading south at one in the morning.

Last Week

It's a little late to be talking about Halloween, I know, but it's worth writing about, I guess.
Dan and I decided the night before that we were going to go as Geishas. The original plan was to dress in each other's clothing, but Dan didn't fit into any of my dresses. Fatty...
So we actually bought kimonos, the belts, plus geisha wigs at a thrift store called Ragstock (it's a pretty bitchin place, I must say). I bought the makeup at Wags, and we were in business.

If the party we went to had a best costume award, we would have won.
We brought our own G&G's and had a good time listening to the host's outdated, gay music. The highlight of the night was definitely dancing to the Bee Gee's "Stayin' Alive."



This is what we looked like after the party at Taco Burrito Palace. I was a little burned out... Thanks for the picture, Alex.


This is another favorite photo of mine. They dubbed themselves "The Tan Clan." The Reno 911 cops are Chelsea and Jeremy, an awesome couple who helped host the party. The guy in the middle is Joey. Joey is Hitler, if you can't tell.

It was a great night. The party was a floor below us, so we didn't have to travel in the cold with our costumes on. YAY! And apparently it's tradition for that specific unit to have a party on Halloween. If they move out next year, I suppose Alex and I will have to host it.

I went to another party this weekend as well. It was Nathalie's Bon Anniversaire Party. There were pastries all over her apartment, because that's how Nathalie wanted it, just like in Marie Antoinette. "All they did was drink champaign and eat pastries. I love it!"
PS. Nathalie is from Paris.

I haven't posted pictures from that event, but I will soon. The champaign fountain was quite impressive.

Hopefully posting will be a little more frequent. The student production is over with, and I just have a small A Cappella concert on Wednesday. But finals are just around the corner. Ugh!

Stole it!

I stole this one from Raymi, but I kinda think all good things are stolen from her.

Watch Alex and me dance like fools!

Mamma's got a brand-new job

I heart my new job. Tonight was my first night. What I do is call perspective voice students that are considering DePaul. I have a little script (one for each possible scenario ex: answering machine) that gets me started. It wears my voice out a little and I have a TON of singers to call, but I know that I'll never get tired of the job.

Already, I had two interesting phone calls. The first was a mom with a British accent, and when I asked for her daughter, she proclaims loudly, "She's already in college! We keep getting calls and letters from schools. She's 17 but she goes to blah blah blah college. See, she went to school in England and then when we got here, we bumped her up some grades..."
Even when I was 17, I don't think I was prepared to study voice at the college level...
Well, good for her, I guess.

The most bizarre call of the night goes to some girl in New Jersey. Her father answered answered the phone with the TV blaring in the background. It takes him at least a minute to get his daughter to pick up the phone, long enough for me to hear what was on the television.
"Get on the Ground....Cuff yourself....Get the DRUGS!!!....You killed my brother!"
Man, what ever he was watching sounded intense...No wonder why his daughter sounded clueless. She was the only one less than enthused to talk to me. I hope she goes to community college.