Clean.

I used to hate my dad because about once every two months, he'd go ballistic and clean the entire house, including our bedrooms. Dad cleaning your bedroom is not a good thing because it means you're stuck with him in your room for 45 minutes while he's vacuuming and you're dusting and he's usually mad about some stupid shit, but won't speak to you, or anyone for that matter, and then when he leaves, the room smells like windex and you can finally breathe again.

But now that I have my own place, I find myself doing the EXACT SAME THING!!!

I've been meaning to clean the apartment for a week now, but didn't get around to it until today. It pretty much looks immaculate around here...except for my bedroom. For some reason, cleaning up my 11 x 10 room is like pulling teeth. And all I really have to do is put my clothes away or in the laundry basket. Yet, I still wait for the very last minute to do anything about it. I have to make sure I have a movie to watch (tonight it will actually be the Sopranos 5th season, disc 3 and 4). Really, it should only take me 3o minutes tops to put everything away and straighten it up, but because I have to watch a movie while doing this, it will probably take me 2 hours.

Yeah. I know I'm weird.

And I still have no voice. I'm getting a little nervous.

Craaap...

You know what the worst feeling in the world is for a singer? Losing her VOICE!

I get this about twice a year. First it starts in the nose and throat. Gotta love that post-nasal drip. Then it settles in the throat for a few days (which is its current state), after that, it turns into a lovely chest cough. At least then I can talk and sing. It's really funny to hear me squeak like a 6th grade clarinet player.

This...thing has its perks. I get the right to just chill out and watch the 5th season of the Sopranos.

It doesn't help that I have to sing everyday this week. But I'm raking in the dough!!! Yesterday I had to sing at 2 masses ($195 total), a rehearsal this evening ($30), practice with a church in the burbs (gratis) tomorrow, Wednesday another church rehearsal ($30), Thursday is a performance in the burbs, Friday and Saturday I have off, but Sunday is marathon singing day because it's Christmas Eve. Not sure how much I'll make off of that puppy, but it will at least be $140.

Everything I once said about Catholics I take back. They pay me well, and for that, I thank God.

BURRRP!!!!

I'm not sober right now. It feels nice. Break has been nice. Very few responsibilities, lots of sitting around with Dan, Alex, or Jessa, eating whenever and whatever I want, catching up on a lot of Maury episodes.

And that's all I really wanted to say...

Underachievers please try harder

Vote for Raymi. Wooo!

Raymi doesn't really know who I am. I'm very ok with that. She's a very busy lady, and doesn't need to be bothered by pathetic adoring fans like me. I think she's seen this site once because I stole her Scissor Sisters music video idea and she caught me.

But since she wants her readers to publicize her like no other, I thought I would step up and show my support which has been silent until now.

This is why I think Raymi is too cool for school and why you should vote for her for best diarist.

1. She shows her boobs, and I think that's really cool in a very non-lesbian way. If I had the balls to show off my tits on the internet, I totally would. And I don't think she shows them off to get more hits. She has it, so she shows it. It's fun for everyone.
   
2. Raymi posts several times a day. When I'm bored, I know that Raymi will be there for me with an update. And it will be funny. Even if there's not an update, her side bar has so much shit to click on, it will easily distract you for the hour that it will take for her to write another post.
   
3. I think she's way cooler than Bunny
4. She's Canadian.
   
5. I live vicariously through her. She's the bad ass that I'll never be, but oh so wish that I could.
   

So just click on the link and vote for her. It will make us all happy.

In closing, I would like to dedicate the first verse lyrics to a Camera Obscura song, "Suspended from Class."

You’re such a beautiful writer

that’s not all you are
I’m sorry about making a pass
It was subtle but I think that you grasped
The meaning intended
I can be a friend to you
I won’t pretend
I’m not interested in breaking a heart
It’s not love no it’s nothing like that
I’ll leave that to lookers like him
Oh he’s such a delicate thing
Now it’s such a fragile thing that we have

And the mealy worms in the pyre will burn

I've been burning things lately. Not food. Objects. Nothing living. It's not like I throw Vish in there. (He's the turtle we're babysitting and will probably never return.) I watch these things go up in flames. Some things I that incinerated I thought would make me feel sad. But it didn't. I felt so detached from them. But now that I've started, I can't stop the burning. There are a few things left, but if I did burn, I'd probably burn in hell or some shit like that.

Went to Arizona last weekend with my sister. That was fun, but Sister Golden Hair missed the first snow day in five years. We were both a little sad. Weather in AZ is always nice, though. My cousin bought a Nintendo Wii system that he let us play for five minutes. Fortunately, neither of us threw the controller at the TV set. Saw all the relatives that I've managed to avoid for the past two years plus. But all of this was ok, because it was just me and my sister. We didn't have to share a bed or spend countless hours with relatives we don't particularly care for. It's all about moderation.

I'm on break now. YAY! But I have all these singing jobs here in Chicago. Woe is me! Actually, it's very nice to have these little jobs, not only for the holiday cash, but it's an awesome excuse not to go home to the suburbs, which my parents still expect me to do. I know Christmas isn't very far away, and I'll spend lots of time with them then, but it's the second week of December. I want to have a little fun. And it has been fun...For me and Dan...Haven't seen too much of my roommates though. That's my fault. The other night, I missed probably one of the funniest moments of this apartment. I wasn't there, so I really shouldn't tell the story, but I suggest you ask Alex about this guy named Dominic and his sleeping habits.

I kept telling myself I was going to go Christmas shopping today. That didn't work out so well. Maybe I'll join the shopping online phenomenon. It's just too cold to go outside today, and I was out and about all day yesterday buying shit for Dan. He is now the proud owner of a $100 pair of shoes. In our defense, they look bad-ass, or at least I think so. I told him that he has to wear the shoes every time he's around me, like the nasty sweater your grandma knits for you for Christmas and you have to wear at least once around her and probably immortalize the ugliness in some embarrassing family photo too.

I think that's all for now. It's dark in my apartment, and I'm all alone. Dan's at work and my roommates are MIA. I should take a shower and do something with my wasted day.

TODAY IS A GOOD DAY FOR DEMOCRATS!!!

These are the words that I woke up to this morning. And I gotta tell you, it is a good day. I haven't been excited about politics in a long time. Nanci Pelosi is everywhere, and I cannot tell you who excited I am to have her as the new Speaker of the House. As my mom said this afternoon: From a selfish point of view, with Denny out of the job, we won't see the money to my home town like we used to. But with Nanci in the house, God, I hope she kicks some serious ass. Doesn't it look like she could beat you up with just the touch of her wagging finger.
Oh yeah, and it's just really cool to have a women third in line. Eat THAT Condi!!!
PLUS!!! Say goodbye to Rummy Rumsfeld. THANK GOD! Who knows if the next guy will be any better, but the times are finally changing. No more stagnant waters.
And I'm not just excited about the Dems taking the House. This is about the people making a change. We will not take this radical, partisan bullshit. We will not let old men who make laws for their own benefit and steal money that's not theirs, and keep creepy pedophiles around.
PS. Tammy Duckworth should have won.

In other news...


YOU SUCK CTA!!! YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY WORTHLESS ON THE WEEKENDS!!! AND THE WORST PART IS, YOU DON'T EVEN CARE HOW MUCH YOU SUCK! I WANT TO GO TWO MILES NORTHWEST ON A SUNDAY MORNING SO THAT I CAN SING AT CHURCH, BUT NO! YOUR BROWN LINE HAS TO HAVE 1/2 HOUR SPAN IN BETWEEN TRAINS. OR WHAT ABOUT THE TIME I WAS TRYING TO GO TO DAN'S PLACE AT AROUND MIDNIGHT, AND I WAITED FOR AN HOUR!!!! FOR A REDLINE HEADING SOUTH TO THE LOOP. BOB SAGGOT!!!
Get your act together, CTA. It's pathetic. You're worthless than the dirt on a drunk bum on a red line heading south at one in the morning.

Last Week

It's a little late to be talking about Halloween, I know, but it's worth writing about, I guess.
Dan and I decided the night before that we were going to go as Geishas. The original plan was to dress in each other's clothing, but Dan didn't fit into any of my dresses. Fatty...
So we actually bought kimonos, the belts, plus geisha wigs at a thrift store called Ragstock (it's a pretty bitchin place, I must say). I bought the makeup at Wags, and we were in business.

If the party we went to had a best costume award, we would have won.
We brought our own G&G's and had a good time listening to the host's outdated, gay music. The highlight of the night was definitely dancing to the Bee Gee's "Stayin' Alive."



This is what we looked like after the party at Taco Burrito Palace. I was a little burned out... Thanks for the picture, Alex.


This is another favorite photo of mine. They dubbed themselves "The Tan Clan." The Reno 911 cops are Chelsea and Jeremy, an awesome couple who helped host the party. The guy in the middle is Joey. Joey is Hitler, if you can't tell.

It was a great night. The party was a floor below us, so we didn't have to travel in the cold with our costumes on. YAY! And apparently it's tradition for that specific unit to have a party on Halloween. If they move out next year, I suppose Alex and I will have to host it.

I went to another party this weekend as well. It was Nathalie's Bon Anniversaire Party. There were pastries all over her apartment, because that's how Nathalie wanted it, just like in Marie Antoinette. "All they did was drink champaign and eat pastries. I love it!"
PS. Nathalie is from Paris.

I haven't posted pictures from that event, but I will soon. The champaign fountain was quite impressive.

Hopefully posting will be a little more frequent. The student production is over with, and I just have a small A Cappella concert on Wednesday. But finals are just around the corner. Ugh!

Stole it!

I stole this one from Raymi, but I kinda think all good things are stolen from her.

Watch Alex and me dance like fools!

Mamma's got a brand-new job

I heart my new job. Tonight was my first night. What I do is call perspective voice students that are considering DePaul. I have a little script (one for each possible scenario ex: answering machine) that gets me started. It wears my voice out a little and I have a TON of singers to call, but I know that I'll never get tired of the job.

Already, I had two interesting phone calls. The first was a mom with a British accent, and when I asked for her daughter, she proclaims loudly, "She's already in college! We keep getting calls and letters from schools. She's 17 but she goes to blah blah blah college. See, she went to school in England and then when we got here, we bumped her up some grades..."
Even when I was 17, I don't think I was prepared to study voice at the college level...
Well, good for her, I guess.

The most bizarre call of the night goes to some girl in New Jersey. Her father answered answered the phone with the TV blaring in the background. It takes him at least a minute to get his daughter to pick up the phone, long enough for me to hear what was on the television.
"Get on the Ground....Cuff yourself....Get the DRUGS!!!....You killed my brother!"
Man, what ever he was watching sounded intense...No wonder why his daughter sounded clueless. She was the only one less than enthused to talk to me. I hope she goes to community college.

Psst...Listen! The Heavens are telling!

They sure don't write 'em like they used to...

LISTEN!!!

Although, this comes close...

LISTEN!!!

Click on "A Boy and a Girl," on the left-hand-side marquee and turn off that STUPID rain effect underneath it. It doesn't play the song in its entirity, but check out his MySpace (I CANNOT believe Eric Whitacre has a MySpace!!!) page and you can. Eric Whitacre...
Both sites are pretty cool. And may I add that the gentleman is quite a handsome fellow...

Weekend Update

Holy CRAP!!!
Senator Obama said he MAY run for el presidente!!! in 2008!!! That makes my day! I would much rather have him in office than Hillary or Kerry.

Quick Weekend Update:

Friday- Went back to the suburbs for a total of 2 hours because SOMEONE just had to get yet another bladder infection and go to the doctor to get an antibiotic perscription. I hadn't had one in a couple months, and I got excited thinking that they would be a thing of the past. But I was very wrong. Boo!

Saturday- Latino Concert at St. James Cathedral. Got there at two, waited around till three to do a quick acoustic check, waited around another two hours, sang our set, then premiered "Cantico" by Gustavo Leone from Columbia college.
After the concert, our choir director treated us to Emilio's Tapas to continue the Hispanic theme of the evening. I probably ate the equivalent of a small child and racked up a tab well into the smaller 100's. Granted, there were about 14 of us.

Sunday- Went to Chinese church with Dan to make sure his Nai Nai and Yei yei (grandma and grandpa) were ok. He had two disturbing dreams about their well-being the previous night, and I agreed to come with him to the suburbs to go to church and check up on them. They made me sing (fortunately NOT in Cantonese) a hymn, which was fine. In return, I scored major points with the relatives AND Nai Nai made us a boat-load of pork and leek dumplings. HEAVEN....

Upcoming Events:

I have a choir concert this week. It's Thursday evening. If you're interested let me know and I'll tell you when and where. No worries, it's free. They're always free. And no, I do not have a solo. Good music though.

And for something completely different:

Dan's band, The FIBS, has a Myspace website. If you're into that kind of thing (MySpace, I mean), then check them out at www.myspace.com/fibsmusic. I know I'm the girlfriend and shouldn't be saying things like this, but don't listen to "Sid."

AND...

I know that some of my readers have some pretty shitty home-lives right now, and I want you to know that if you ever want to talk or need a place to go to, I'm sincerely here for you. I can't give much advice, but I'll listen. And in extreme circumstances, I'll loan out my couch.

Something to write about

Finally, I have something to write about.

But before I write anything, I will not tolerate any comments that try to boost my self esteem. Such as: Oh, but Di, don't get down on yourself. You're the greatest singer in the world.

The past two weeks...well, really this entire summer, I've been disappointed in my singing performances. My technique was sloppy, I knew I was doing something wrong because it hurt, and singing at the catholic church (which was only temporary btw. Once the girl came back, I got the boot, which was kinda contrary to what the music director was saying...) only hurt my ego more. My sight reading is OK despite what everyone thinks, and my first voice lesson back at school was more like a kick in the stomach than a new start to the school year.

Midterms have passed and I'm feeling better about things. My lessons are going more smoothly, and I'm singing literature I actually like (no more of this Renaissance, early Baroque crap!), but none of that got me a role in the Winter production of the Merry Widow. I will never get used to rejection, don't let people tell you otherwise. It hurts every time. The worst part is that the two other girls my age who study with the same teacher as I do got parts. One even got a major role and she's not even a performance major!

Yeah, I'm jealous of them, but they're my best girlfriends at DePaul, so I hold no silly grudges against them. They're going to be great.

But where does that leave me?

Stuck. Stuck singing my precious Bach and Handel arias with some smatterings of cutesy Schubert and Wolf lieder. And this is my voice. My voice can sing those arias with ease. But the great dramatic coloratura literature which I'm convinced that I can sing and impress people with and have done many times before, is apparently beyond my grasp. And because of this, I feel betrayed.

I cannot change my voice. It's a part of me. It's my personality and my body. My brain thinks/wants to do all the famous arias that people like, but my voice isn't ready for that. Maybe someday, I can. But someday is too far away, especially when I want to be on stage now. Waiting sucks, especially when your peers fly past you. It really hurts the ego.

Someone once said...

Someone once said that this blog was good-and-all, but it lacked commentary on my real life. That is very true. This blog was created during an interesting point in my life; I was in my first year of college, busy with school, and severely struggling with my wits after a "fall-out"/disaster with a close friend.

I didn't really have any blogging material. My mind was on school, this "disastrous" relationship, and my new relationship, none of which I could deem as appropriate or entertaining blogging material.

But I would have to say that right now I'm comfortable with my position in life. My first year at school went well, and I'm looking forward to next year. I have a new apartment, and despite a recent spat with my roommate, things are well there. My boyfriend is getting an apartment in the city soon, as well as going to a real college, so he won't have to take METRA all the time.

I do not feel as though I have shed my old life only to find a brighter, shiner, new one. My past will always be with me, for good or for bad. My hometown will always be home, and I always look forward to seeing old friends.

Pedestrian Rage?

It is a well known fact that I do not own a vehicle because of a car accident I had almost a year ago. Yeah, the family got a new Saturn, but I hardly drive it. Besides, it doesn't have a name. My car did have a name. Jonsi. I miss you buddy.

Anyway, since that time, I went to school. Blah blah blah. Even now that it's summer, I still don't drive much because I live in the city. But my point is, that certain antsy-ness and swearing and hexing when I'm driving when a car is going too slow or doing something stupid didn't go away. The same anger is now focused on pedestrians (usually suburbanites or tourists, but not always) doing stupid things.

Por ejemplo: A few days ago, I was walking home and heading towards one of those plywood walls/scaffolding that the city of Chicago likes to put EVERYWHERE!!! when building something new. Well, it's very hard to pass people when walking underneath such a thing, especially when a particular person with a particularly annoying child, big stroller, and wide ass stop in the middle of it to do God knows what.

"Excuse me, ma'am. Not only is your child being a douche, but your wide truck load of a body is in my way. Whatever you are doing at this moment cannot be more important than me getting home to my apartment. Thank-you."

Of course, only when I patted the child on the head to move it out of my way did I think of what to say to the woman. In other words, I didn't say anything at all.

Here's an update for you biznatches!

As most of my readers (who are mostly my friends) know, I moved into my new, city apartment, and that has kept me very busy ever since I got out of school. It's a nice place. You should definitely check Alex's photos and check the place out. Or, better yet, you can always stop by. I can't guarantee that one of us will be there, since we continually find ourselves going back to the suburbs, but it's always worth a try, right? We definitely don't have internet set up yet, it's on my list of things to do. So...If you want to reach me, call me.

Other than that, I've been watching the Limelight productions this year. Kudos to all involved. You did a great job! And I've also been singing quite a bit for the Catholic parish who pays me. YAY!!! The regular pay blows, especially when they take $20 bucks out for taxes, but the weddings and funerals are grand. $100 a pop. Can't go wrong, but I need more of those easy gigs.

I just want you guys to know that if I ever start updating regularly again, be prepared for something big. I want to be as cool and as popular as Raymi, but in my own way.

Hope everyone has a great summer. I love you all!

Mission Accomplished

I completed my first year of college.

I can't decide if the year went by quickly, or dreadfully slow.

No. I know what it was. The year went by in an instant, but once people started coming home from their first year of college, I wanted to see them, but couldn't because I was busy or didn't have time to come home and see friends. No one came to visit me either...

But now...Now that it's all said and done with for good until September and all my stuff is out of my dorm and in my family's mini-van, I still can't come home because I was foolish and decided to do a singing gig tomorrow and Sunday. Actually, the Sunday gig is my job now. I sing at St. Josaphat's parish in Lincoln Park. It's kinda weird because it's Catholic and I clearly am NOT, and I just read the Da Vinci code and all I can think when the padre talks is LIAR LIAR Robes on fire!

My room reminds me of a padded cell, it's so empty.

All my college friends are gone. Husband is working. Computer gone (I'm typing this at the Student Center), music gone, books gone, dvds gone, camera gone. I had to pack light because they're kicking everyone out of the dorms tomorrow at noon, and I'll be stuck living on the streets with only a duffel bag...Ok, clearly you all know I do have a place to stay, but I definitely feel like a vagrant, especially with only a squish pillow and bedsheet to sleep with tonight.

And yet, though everything and everyone are gone, I would rather be by myself. My roommate is still around and I know she probably wants me to hang out with her tonight because it's our last night living together...but...well, tonight just seems like a solemn, windy night. A perfect night for flying.

VICTIM!

I had a less than pleasant dream the other night. I don't ever want to walk home by myself again.

It was dark outside, and I was walking through the quad by myself. There's a particular corner that I have to round in order to get to my dorm. This corner scares the living daylights out of me because there are big trees and bushes that someone could easily hide in, and you wouldn't know they were there until they pounce on you. Well, no one was in the bushes, but there was some shady looking guy on a bike around that same corner. He startled me, but what scared me more were his words.

"Victim. You're gonna be a victim."

Then he pulled out his gun.

At this point, I was on my knees. I knew that if I didn't do as he said, I would be killed. He told me to stand up. But I didn't stand because he was going to do something terrible to me if I did. I chose my dignity over my life.

"Have it your way."

He pointed the gun at my head and everything went white.

Hindi grlz dig Hip-Hop PLUS Grandparents do the Darndest things!

For the past three weekends, I have found myself going home, but not because I'm homesick. 2 weeks ago, there was a family crisis and I wanted to be there. Last week was Mother's Day, and this weekend was my best Indian friend's belated birthday party.

I am no stranger to being the only white girl at a party because of my dearest friend, but I enjoy it immensely despite extreme awkwardness. Usually, I say the words for them. "Silly white girl don't know nothin." Which is 100% true, and that's why at Indian social events, I take a step back, watch my friend do her chit-chatting, and observe everyone else. Occasionally, I'll pique someone's interest and they'll ask me a few questions. If I'm with my friend's family, they always ask about my singing or dancing. The things that stick in peoples' heads...

But this desi party was different. None of my friend's family was present. All the attendees (most of which arrived 2 1/2 hours late) were newly made college friends. So all the girls were young and spoke English to each other and not just out of politeness for me. These girls loved to put their hair down, and quite literally. Most of them wore hijabs (the scarf that Muslim women wear to cover their hair and neck) and for many of the girls, it was their first time seeing each other's hair.

What I found most interesting, though, was their music selection. I have come to realize that my friend's love of Bollywood music is not shared with the rest of her demograph. Everyone wanted to listen to hip-hop. I kid you not! Sean Paul seemed to be the favorite with his hit single "Temperature." Not only did they love listening to this music, but in true desi fashion, they loved dancing to it too. By far, the most impressive dancer was an eighth grader from Lombard who could do everything from the worm to sultry hip checks straight from a Shakira music video. I probably got along with her best out of all the girls. Unfortunately, I can't remember her name. But that's not surprising considering I can't remember anyone's name at Indian gatherings.

When my parents found out that I was going to this party, they told me I couldn't take the train back to Chi-town, which I didn't fuss about too much because Adams and Jackson street get uber-creepy and quiet after dark and they are the only streets to get to the nearest El station.
So last night I slept in my own bed. Yay! And this morning, I went to church with Xingmao and his family, followed by a delicious Cantonese feast. Things would have been perfect if Grandpa Wat hadn't thrown up at the table several times and insisted that he was fine. He's ninety, maybe older, and his swallowing mechanism wasn't working properly (or so the family told me).
Oh man did that freak me out.

Because Xingmao subjected me to his family, I decided I wanted to visit my grandparents who were not too far away. Again, the experience would have been really nice if grandpa hadn't hit Xingmao's car! Fortunately, my grandpa hits cars all the time and is well accustomed to shelling out the dough to fix the damage.

It's been an interesting weekend.

Screw TGIF!

I hate Fridays, especially this Friday and the Fridays to come.

Fridays are now my busiest day of the week. From 8:30 am-5:30 pm I am at school with less than half an hour to eat lunch.

Do I want sympathy? Hell Yes! No one else has this schedule but me, and I don't think it's fair.

Actually, I've gotten used to it, except for one thing: I spend all my time and energy at school on Friday, and then Friday night I have nothing to do because I am too tired to answer the phone when a friend.

I don't want to be the grumpy old lady on a Friday night, yet I choose to be. Where's the sense in that? I don't know.

All of these emotions are actually brought on by the fact that according to Stanislavski, I am not an artist and never will be even if I can sing pretty and try really hard. Thus, I am depressed and grumpy and have a hatred for Jason Mraz, Twista, and Kill Hannah whose music is blaring on the quad right now thanks to the DePaul Activity board and something they like to call Fest.

I need to get out of here.

big breath

Well...I'm a big girl now. I just signed my first lease for an apartment.
Wow...
Wow...
I move in July 1. So it's a little later than I had originally planned. But that's ok. Things are going to be awesome. Basically, we're living in a complex filled musicians, namely singers. Haha. It's going to be an interesting year. But I'm soooo excited. Everything is finally happening and falling into place. Just so you know, Alex and (hopefully) Paulina and I will have the best apartment in the world. During breaks, we're going to have you all over. Sweet...

Compliments to hubby Alex

EDIT:
Oh yeah, forgot to mention this. Paulina is my sweet mate suite mate in my current dorm. She's pretty much one of the coolest people I've met since I've been here. Not a music kid, but still really cool because she's undeclared and pretty much likes all the bands I like. Actually, she went with Alex and I to the Sigur Ros concert last night, which was pretty amazing. I'll have to write about that tomorrow because there's a lot to write on that subject as well.